My Life So Far...

Hi! I'm back after so long.I've been away for around 6 months I guess? How have you been? If you want me to describe my life so far, I will say it's stress, dramatic and fun I guess. You will be thinking what am I doing in these 6 months right? I've been busy with my N levels and .... First, I want to tell you something about my health. During halfway of my N levels, I've found out that I'm diagnose with secondary cancer. Yes, it came back after 6 months. I have to go through another treatment. It's hard for me to accept that it came back again. This challange my resillience and my feelings too. I went through a lot of emotions that I end up having depression and I have to go through counselling.

However, I'm very thankful towards my family, teachers and friends for their support. They have been there for me when I needed someone to lean on or talk to. They have been pushing my back and go through together with me. Even though I know that cancer is very hard to be cured. I still put in my faith that God will heal me one day because he loves me! I know the reason why I'm diagnose with cancer is that God has a purpose for me which is to reach out to people. He wants me to inspire and influence people around me in a good way. He wants me to learn to cherish time and people around me. He wants me to opened up my eyes to see this world in a different way. I've been learning a lot each and everyday. I think it's really fun and interesting to know the world and people more. Go try it yourself! =)

Oh! And I think you guys will want to know about how well I do in my N levels right? I think I have done my best but I can improve some more. My EMB3 is 15. Mathematics - 2 , English - 4 , Combined Humanities - 3 , Combined Science - 3 and Chinese - 3 . I wasn't really happy with my results instead I felt a little disappointed because I aim to go for Polytecnic Foundation Programe (PFP) if I get 11 points and below or Direct Polytecnic Program (DPP) which is Higher Nitec. It's depressing to see my results and knowing that I'm not eligible for it. Well, for DPP, I was eligible for it but just because I've got a 4 for my English, hence I can't get into the course that I want and the other courses that is avaliable , I have no interest in it. Thus, I ended up in Secondary 5 to take my O levels so that I have more choices to choose and more courses to go to. This is why I'm been ''lost'' for 6 months.

Being in Secondary 5 wasn't any easier. Instead, it's way more harder and more stessful. I'm currently stressed up by many homeworks, tests and exams, not forgetting my treatment in hospital. This is the problem here. I have treatments to do, therefore, I have to miss a lot of lessons in school. Beacuse it's Secondary 5, teacher is teaching very fast. Thus, this makes me very hard to catch up. However, I'm glad that i have many wonderful teachers that are willingly to stay back and help me out. Im very thankful towards them. Because I'm undergoing treatment, doesn't mean that I can relax, I've been working extra hard in my studies. I know that I'm lacking behind so I give in 3 times more than normal people put in. I study almost everyday until midnight, I do a lot of extra work and ask teacher to mark my work, I ask for tuitions on my weakest subjects. I believe that if I just put in all that I have, spend more time on my studies, I will do very well.

You will be thinking why am I forcing myself so hard. I have a few reasons. First, I want to improve my life. I came from a poor family, a broken family. I've seen my mum suffering a lot, working so hard to feed me, paying for my medical bills, put me to school and give me a proper wear. I feel so painful when I see my mum working so hard for me. I want to study hard to give my mum and myself a better future, a better environment. I want to give my future family a better living too. I don't want my family to suffer with me. I'm not blaming my mum. I thank my mum for giving her everything to take good care of me. I know many people out there who envy people who has everything. Everything as in money. But you know what? Money is not everything. Yes, you need money to buy stuff you like. But do you know that some rich kids feel lonely? Even though they have so much money but they do not have love, care, someone to accompany them or talk to them because their parents are way too busy working. So cherish what we have. We are lucky to have 'everything' . We do not need to be rich but we should aim for more than enough. I thank God that I have more than enough. I have internet, I have so much love from everyone, I can eat as much as I want everyday. So people out there, learn to be thankful for what we have.

Anyway I got to go, talk to you next time again when I'm free. Bye guys! Have a good day! God bless you~ Don't hate, love your enemies.

Sign off~